Wendelyn Daly

TW: Religious trauma, spiritual abuse, binging, eating disorder, suicide, mental illness, depression, anxiety, PTSD.  Dear Reader,   It's been two weeks since I published "An Unsent Letter to the Church." A letter in which I called our church out on their part in "feeding" my eating disorder and for failing me, and my husband, and our two sons by abandoning us in our darkest hour.  I've had many responses.  People who said that while the details may be different, the letter could have been written by them.  People who have fallen through the cracks of the church and felt alone in their experience.  You see, I am not alone in my experience and if I had stayed quiet and small, I would still be wondering if it was just me.  If something was wrong with me.   One friend called me out by reminding me that I am very good at hiding.  Yes.  I am very good at hiding and I have been working on that.  (She was not the first person to bring this...

TW:  Eating disorder, patriarchy, oppression of women, religion, church, suicidal ideation, and religious trauma. Dear Reader,  This is not a post for the easily offended. It is a copy of a therapeutic letter I wrote to try to heal, to grieve loss, to continue on my recovery from an eating disorder, and to practice taking up space. I am taking up space here. First, for myself. I need my experience to be known. Second, for anyone else who may have been hurt by the very place we were told showed God's love. You are not alone. Your' experience matters. I invite all who are genuinely curious to pour themselves a beverage of their choice (mine would be Earl Gray tea), cozy up with a soft blanket or your dog... or both, and read on. Keep in mind that this is MY experience and there are other things that went on or are going on in which you and I may never know. I invite comments that are helpful, supportive, or your own personal experience. What I will not allow is judge...

 Dear Reader,   It's been a hot minute since I've posted on my blog and that's been (mostly) because I started a new job!  It is a complete 180 from anything I have ever done and the first month was rough.  Not because of the people I work with, my supervisor, or my boss, but because of even more unhelpful thought patterns that surfaced as I took this chance on something new.  My new job is as an "Amazon Delivery Associate" and well, to put it delicately, it's been challenging.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Amazon makes it as simple as they can, but there is real life stuff that comes up and you have to be able to make quick decisions.  I knew it would be hard to do this new thing but there is the thinking about the hard and then the actual doing of the hard.  I may have cried a few times.  Strike that.  I have cried.  More than a few times.   One major characteristic of being in recovery from an eating disorder...

 TW: Religious Trauma, Eating Disorder, Church, Suicide, Mental Illness, Privilege, My hubby took this picture of me at the Field Museum in Chicago.  While I didn't ask him to take a picture, I did ask him to take various shots because I didn't like the previous one(s). Trauma says I don't include pics of myself in my blog posts.  Healing says that I need to take up space. Dear Reader,   An eating disorder is a complex thing.  Many characteristics are shared and that breathes a sigh of relief into my soul.  If my body adapted like their bodies adapted and we can share this journey, I do not have to travel alone.  Yet, there are many characteristics that are unique to me.  My personality, my childhood, my choices.  Me. Me. Me.  Alone.  Feeling unlovable because no one is going to touch this crazy with a ten foot pole.  Wait.  That was my ED speaking and I have concrete evidence that I am not unlovable and am worthy of great...

TW: Binge eating, eating disorder, depression, anxiety, religion, severe depressive episode, suicide ideation. Dear Reader, The other day my chiropractor asked me a question about gratitude.  It's one that comes up for many as we approach the holiday season. Interesting fact- the word holiday comes from an Old English word  hāligdæg-  holy day.  Anyway, I digress... she asked me if I wanted to know how to be more grateful.  A priest had been in to get adjusted and she had asked him how we become more grateful.  His answer was to imagine everyone you love and everything you enjoy gone, then you will experience gratitude. I don't have to imagine.  All I need to do is remember...   I began treatment for an eating disorder in April of 2020.  As I started to heal, I no longer wanted to binge.  On the most basic level, I had been using food to numb emotions I had never learned how to label and deal with in a helpful way.  Without the...

 TW: Religious trauma, religion, eating disorder, and abuse. Dear readers, I am writing this post in response to a sermon I recently heard.  I am over two months into recovery from an eating disorder and one of the self care habits I am trying to integrate is allowing myself to take up space.  Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  It is my practice. Have you ever been around someone who seems to have nothing good to say about life?  If you have children, think back to moments (or days, weeks, months) when nothing seems to be going their way and it feels like they just won't stop whining.  Consider with me periods of time in your own life is full of chaos and it's a battle from the moment you get up to the time you go to sleep.  Often sleep isn't even a relief because my awesome brain "thinks" it needs to work things out in the form of dreams while I'm just lying in bed trying so very hard to get some rest.  I've woken up before overwhelmed ...